On Pressing The Reset Button

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I mailed it in at work yesterday.

Tasked with putting together a document for a new client, I didn’t do as good a job as I should’ve done – especially when we are in that new relationship phase where everything we do is magnified.

Luckily (or maybe not luckily) I’m not the last person to see the document before it goes to the client. Of course, that means I have to bear the brunt of my superiors with my shoddy work.

It was a shitty way to end what had been a successful week, so I spent the long drive home ruminating on how poorly I had performed, rather than on the positives.

And as anyone would tell you, it does you no good to dwell on the negative. Get into that mindset, and you’re just asking to fail.

Unfortunately, I’ve never been someone who can easily shrug off a mistake at work. When I began my career, I worked at an agency that fired a lot of people, so the threat of becoming one of those people always loomed over my head. I never knew why those former colleagues were fired, but it didn’t matter; telling myself that I could be next was enough to make me constantly paranoid.

I guess that train-of-thought has never gone away. I’m always worried that the next mistake will be my last.

Sometimes, I wonder how I’ve made it this far.

So I’ve decided that I need to press the “reset” button, and that also means resurrecting this poor excuse for a blog, if only so that I have a place to vent.

I’ve always prided myself on my writing, but I don’t practice enough to get better. And if you’re not trying to get better, you’re just treading water.

I have too much going for me to let a bad day get me down, but I’m also smart enough to know that I need to bring it even harder next time.

Monday is a new day; a new opportunity.

I can’t erase what I’ve done, but maybe I can make people forget about it.