As I write to you, dear reader, on this third day of April in the year of our Lord 2015, a virus is loose in our house.
It has infected two of us, and there is no doubt that my wife and I won’t be spared.
It has shown itself in the form of vomiting. The kind that spews out unexpectedly and returns again and again until there is nothing left to come up. It’s the kind that forces the carrier to carry a bucket at all times, lest the bug hit unexpectedly. It’s the change-the-sheets-on-the-bed-twice-in-the-middle-of-the-night variety.
AKA the worst kind.
So what, as parents, can we do when this hits?
Doesn’t that suck?
I can’t imagine there is much worse than knowing you’re going to be up four or five times with your kid throughout the night.
Don’t worry about not waking up – your parental intuition will force your eyes open at the first sign of a heave from the adjoining room. At that point, you might as well climb in with your little one.
Thankfully, as the kids get older, they become a bit more self-sufficient. Sometimes they make it to the bathroom by themselves. The days of catching puke in your cupped hands (I’ve had to do this) to prevent it from hitting the floor are over. Now, it’s just a matter of making sure it doesn’t get in their hair.
There is so much to love about being a parent, but puking episodes are, in my humble opinion, the worst. I’ve thrown up before just from hearing the kids lose it.
This virus should be gone in 48 hours.
But until then, don’t come near us.